The winter coat of my dreams is on sale… but not on sale enough, it’s still $321 and yeah right. I have yet to find another coat that fits properly, is affordable and doesn’t make me look downright hilarious, and the coat that I’ve worn for the previous 4 or 5 years got stretched out by the hanger and god knows if that’ll steam out.
I loved that coat too, even though it wasn’t exactly warm. I was going to put it on a good hanger with a proper shoulder shape and I just forgot for an entire year, fuck my life.
I’ve also found several different amazing colors of the boots of my dreams, but they’re all at least a full size too big. Maybe I can just wear really thick socks?
I also need a hat that’ll fit on my enormous head. I’m debating getting a trapper hat but I’m pretty sure I can only pull that off if my coat and boots are absolutely fantastic. And judging by all this shopping angst I’m going to be running around in canvas sneakers and a coat that’s all stretched out :/
Your job is now your Time Lord name. The last digit of your phone number is the current regeneration you are in. The nearest clothing item to your right is now the most notable item in your current wardrobe. The last person you texted is your current companion. Your favorite word is now your catchphrase.
“If you get embarrassed every time you drop a pad or tampon—and it will happen—or every time a dude looks through your bag for a pen and finds one of these items instead, he gets to pretend that he is ignorant and that you are yucky for one more day. And that’s a day none of us can afford. Sooner or later, he’s going to be 53, and in Congress, and saying that he just doesn’t understand why people NEED birth control, all because no one had the decency to sit him down and tell him to stop pretending he doesn’t know about vaginas.”—Rookie Mag - Everybody Farts! (via bitterbuffalo)
1. If you work hard, and become successful, it does not necessarily mean you are successful because you worked hard, just as if you are tall with long hair it doesn’t mean you would be a midget if you were bald.
2. “Fortune” is a word for having a lot of money and for having a lot of luck, but that does not mean the word has two definitions.
3. Money is like a child—rarely unaccompanied. When it disappears, look to those who were supposed to be keeping an eye on it while you were at the grocery store. You might also look for someone who has a lot of extra children sitting around, with long, suspicious explanations for how they got there.
4. People who say money doesn’t matter are like people who say cake doesn’t matter—it’s probably because they’ve already had a few slices.
5. There may not be a reason to share your cake. It is, after all, yours. You probably baked it yourself, in an oven of your own construction with ingredients you harvested yourself. It may be possible to keep your entire cake while explaining to any nearby hungry people just how reasonable you are.
6. Nobody wants to fall into a safety net, because it means the structure in which they’ve been living is in a state of collapse and they have no choice but to tumble downwards. However, it beats the alternative.
7. Someone feeling wronged is like someone feeling thirsty. Don’t tell them they aren’t. Sit with them and have a drink.
8. Don’t ask yourself if something is fair. Ask someone else—a stranger in the street, for example.
9. People gathering in the streets feeling wronged tend to be loud, as it is difficult to make oneself heard on the other side of an impressive edifice.
10. It is not always the job of people shouting outside impressive buildings to solve problems. It is often the job of the people inside, who have paper, pens, desks, and an impressive view.
11. Historically, a story about people inside impressive buildings ignoring or even taunting people standing outside shouting at them turns out to be a story with an unhappy ending.
12. If you have a large crowd shouting outside your building, there might not be room for a safety net if you’re the one tumbling down when it collapses.
13. 99 percent is a very large percentage. For instance, easily 99 percent of people want a roof over their heads, food on their tables, and the occasional slice of cake for dessert. Surely an arrangement can be made with that niggling 1 percent who disagree.
If you were going to be a Dalek for halloween and had just found the perfect dress for $8 at the salvation army, no alterations for fit or even length required, with the perfect shaped pleats in the perfect places to line up and sew dalek bumps to…
What would you do in this case for the arms?
A) Carry around a plunger and eggwhisk like every other dalek cosplayer
B) Engineer some kind of armature of boning and wire into the front of the dress so that the arms can stick out hands-free at approximately waist level, in the place where they would if this were an actual to-scale dalek